Writing 101 – day eight – Go to a public location and make a detailed report of what you see.

Posted: June 11, 2014 in Writing 101

Today has been a busy day.

A lot of it has been spent in the car – driving here and there, and some of it has been walking around the centre of town.

What did I see?

A few madcap motorists spring to mind – presumably, most battling through the tail end of the morning rush hour to get to their places of business. Having a lack of regard for their competitors in the rat race. That is exactly what they are… competitors. It’s a war out there!

One motorist in particular made me giggle as I viewed her in my rear view mirror. Well, I say I viewed her. As far as I could see, she had a forehead and a pair of eyes. They were peeping over the steering wheel. She was only in a Renault Megane coupe, so it’s not as if it was even a big car. It crossed my mind as to whether that could be classed as dangerous. Could it? A woman, barely big enough to see the road ahead. Surely that’s a risk to herself and other road users. Hmmmmm. None of my bees wax really.

Being in the town centre brought out the usual hive of strangers, and one or two stuck in my mind. People are weird. I can happily and openly say that without fear of rebuke because I am weird!

Pedestrians are suicidal! That comes into mind too. They really think taking on a car travelling on or around the speed limit is a good idea! Not helped by the fact that one motorist in particular, and I can tell you it was a woman without anyone thinking I’m being bias, didn’t want to slow down as the pedestrian ambled across the road. I kid you not, the male pedestrian almost had is heels clipped.

Chavs were out in abundance today. Dressed in their grey ‘trackies’ and white t-shirts. I’ve been told I’m a chav before as I like my white baseball caps and tracksuits bottoms. I took a ‘Chav’ test on Facebook once. I came out as 22% chav. My friend also took it, and she scored 11% chav, but I think she told some porkies on some of her questions.

 An elderly couple walking hand in hand was a nice sight to behold. I wondered how long they had been together. One assumes that they’ve been together since time immoral, but for all I knew, it could have been their first date!

A toddler and her buggy. A perfectly acceptable combination, and something we see all the time. Except, this toddler was pushing her own buggy. I like to think that she was pushing her invisible friend around. Some kids have those don’t they? I never did. I couldn’t even fabricate a mate as a child.

I saw a man in an elevator. He appeared to be Rastafarian. He pressed the button to floor three. I know that because I pressed the button before he did, and I had my eyes locked on the light of the button as he ignited his button. The elevator opened on floor two, and he got out. I wonder if he knew it was two or not as he got out and didn’t want to admit he’d made a mistake. I mean, I’ve done that. I’ve got out of an elevator before my designated stop, but being fearful of embarrassment, I didn’t dare admit my mistake in front of a crowd and attempt to get back in the elevator. I’d rather wait for the next one or take the stairs. We Brits can’t suffer the indignity of embarrassment can we?

 

Well, that was my report of a day out with the madcap public.

I survived.

Cause for celebration in its own right!

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Comments
  1. jensiper says:

    I loved it!! I had to look up Chav. never heard of that. I love the elevator scene

  2. Karuna says:

    I really enjoyed your piece. You were so descriptive, in a very interesting way. You also introduced me to some new vocabulary!

  3. sbreece90 says:

    the part about taking a chav test on facebook cracked me up. normally i wouldn’t read a post so long (victim of a short attention span – aren’t we all?) but i really enjoyed the honest way you took in your surroundings.

  4. Carole says:

    Sounds treacherous round where you live, all those foreheads and eyes peeping out from behind steering wheels, she must have been at least all of three feet no inches. Let’s hope she didn’t have to go up a hill, I dread to think of the outcome if she had to negotiate one of those

  5. cocoblaq says:

    “Madcap motorists”.

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