Archive for July, 2014

It had been a somewhat bumpy and dark ride. I had been locked in my temporary prison for too long. I’d been placed carefully into his holdall a while ago, and I was itching to get out and do what I do best.

Be brutal.

Be cruel.

Be my master’s hero.

 

The bumpiness stopped.

I waited.

And I waited.

I could hear muffled noises from above and in the distance. I knew those muffled noises were those of my master. I’d heard them so many times before, and I glistened with joy, practically drooling inside my protective case. I wanted out. The anticipation was killing me.

The bumpiness began again but stopped within a heartbeat. My heart was beating and beating fast. It always did at these moments before my release and the ensuing moments when I was free.

I heard the beautiful sound of the bag’s zipper opening above me and, in a flash, his hot hand was around me. My carefully bound lower half was relishing being held in his gloved, expert-like grip..

We were friends.   

The very best of friends.

He always chose me for his craft. The craft he loved. The craft we both loved. He had the guile; I had the talent. The talent for implementing fear on whoever saw me.

I was growing impatient. I couldn’t see. My upper half was still concealed in my cloak, yet my excitement was growing. He knew my excitement. After all, we’d been in this situation more than twenty times now. We were a team.

The light hit me as I was unmasked. I gleamed with pure delight.

I was primed.

I could see, in front of me, the fear of our latest victim. Before long, I would be inside this young female. Females were my favourite. So soft and easy to enter. I’d been everywhere: In their hearts, their stomachs, their limbs, torsos and even a head or two. My desire to taste their blood was making me euphoric as I leaned forward in an attempt to get closer to my prize. Yet we remained in place. My master was cruel sometimes in making me wait. He is such a tease. But I know why. Yes, I enjoyed the penetration through the skin, but this part was also incredible and the part I knew my master enjoyed the most – looking into the eyes of someone who knew pretty soon I was going to be inside them.

I beamed up at my master with a longing. He beamed down at me and gave me a nod.

This was it. The time… The moment I was waiting for. We sidled closer and closer. We were upon her. He rested the tip of me under her chin, which she raised up to escape me. How rude! But this, of course, was a futile task. My sharp edge was brushed against her. This was it. It was nearly time for my starring role. I felt it. The taste I had longed for. A small nick on her throat, and I had the merest droplets of red delight on me. My thirst was about to be quenched.

My master leaned back, and I wondered where I was about to be plunged. I sped forward, and to my pure delight I hit the chest. I broke through the ribs with ease and relished the moment I punctured the girl’s heart. My euphoria was doubled, trebled and then quadrupled within a matter of ten seconds as I was removed and re inserted in three more areas in her torso. Each time I was removed I could feel myself bathed in her warm blood.

As I was withdrawn for the final time, I was breathless. My master paused and looked down at me. I could just make out his expression through the juices upon me. He leant forward again and wiped me once on the girl’s trouser leg and then turned me over and repeated the cleaning process. I could still feel traces of blood on me, but I knew he’d clean me properly later, in the privacy of our room.

He re-cloaked me and placed me back into the bag. I heard the zipper close and, thoroughly exhausted, I rested happily with the joy of my job-well-done pacifying me until the next time.
It’s a good life being my masters knife.

 

 

 

 

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Thought of the day – Fear

Posted: July 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

Fear – An unpleasant emotion caused by threat or danger. It’s powerful and primitive.

Naturally, fear grips us. Jeez, fear is an industry worth a tonne of money.

Movies are made to scare us witless (some of us more than others), but we watch them anyway.

Why? Because we are a perverse species who like to feel an array of emotion. When we can control our fears, it’s OK.

People, like I have done, have jumped out of aeroplanes and done other extreme things like bungee jumping. These things aren’t natural and test our fear threshold. Some take to them like a duck to water and are natural adrenaline junkies. Some would find such extreme things as ridiculous and would not entertain them in a million years. People respond differently to fear and people have a natural fear of different things.

I find that interesting.

Very interesting.

There are other things, however, which scare us that can’t be deemed as entertainment or ‘fun’ fear. Things scare us naturally. But why?

Why do people have a fear of spiders or snakes or clowns or flying?

Are these fears irrational? They certainly cause anxiety that can lead to ill health.

Are irrational fears just phobias? I don’t mean the word ‘just’ as a meaningless term, phobias can be crippling to some people.

For instance, I have an irrational fear of scorpions. They’ve never done any harm to me, but based on the way they look, and their little scuttling way of moving, they give me the heebee-jeebies. And the likelihood is that I’ll never come across one in real life. One appears on TV and I get a shudder and goose bumps. Things like spiders though or other little critters don’t affect me at all, so God knows where my irrational fear of the evil scorpion came from!

But perversely, I would like to hold one, so I can get over my bizarre phobia.

Fear is actually one emotion that I enjoy at times. It makes you feel alive and thankful that really, I don’t have anything to fear at all.

My proper fears that aren’t irrational to me are felt deep within, and sharing them on my blog is something I’m not confident to do. These fears aren’t enjoyable.

Well, I’ll share just one then.

I have a fear of disappointment. I am scared of letting people down and being let down. I fear disappointment because I don’t like regret. I have often avoided certain circumstances purposely to avoid the prospect of disappointment.

I wouldn’t even regard myself as a people pleaser – more like someone who hates displeasing people. Saying no, at times, has been impossible, and I have messed up lots by saying yes and not no. I hate asking for help because I feel I am disappointing others if I do.

I don’t like giving people attention because of the fear of disappointing them if I do, with something I say or do.

I daydream a lot because it takes me out of the place I am in, and I feel if I take myself out of that place I’m really not there and am again avoiding disappointing people. Although, when I’ve reviewed that ‘state of play’, I’ve realised that I have caused more harm than good by doing so.

Why I don’t mind sharing this as a one off is because I am a human being, and I know other people reading this and elsewhere also have emotional and deep rooted fears – fears of intimacy, being alone, failure, death, the unknown, misery, rejection, ridicule etc.

I am not alone…

PS – I hope you’re not too disappointed in my admission of my fear.

 

 

 

Ooooohhhhhhh crumbs 😖!!
Now, the first grey hair that I’ve found,
Is a big deal to me.
People have spotted them in my head before,
But I put that down to it being planted, machievellianly.
But now, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes,
Holy crap!!
I’m officially getting old now,
It’s time I slowed right down and took a nap.
But no, I’ve embraced it and took it in my stride,
I’m in the pub getting drunk… That a good way to tackle it… I think.
It’s no big deal is it? I’m 37 and looking… Ermmm… Ermmm… (You fill in your own blanks here.)
It’s only the one. If I pull it out quick, I can get it while you blink.
I think I have it… It’s in my hand,
I can see Sainsburys from the pub, maybe I should go find some just for men!!
Hide the bugger…
I may go a step further and become a blonde…
Or do what other men do and shave the lot off!
Nooooooooo.
Men grow old with dignity and look better with age…
Look at Philip Schofield… Quite a favourite of the ladies… Looking much better than he did while on kiddies TV years ago…
I’ll embrace it and see what happens…
But the first one to call me old will get a slap!!
Farewell grey hair.. I now throw you to the wind…
With a goodbye, and a ‘I’ll see your friends soon’, and with a knowing grin
😊

How good is it, when you realise that you are darn good at something?
I mean… DARN DARN good…
I realised that this morning…
Feeling self-satisfied
I don’t often write on my blog and brag about myself… In fact, I don’t often have anything good to say about myself, but on this occasion I will!!
If I’m patient, I can see a good future in writing…
I can teach, and I can write… I can put the two together to make a successful living…
Here’s to being a freelance writer everyone..
Just a shame it’s not an instant money spinner.
Cheers everyone 🍺

An Entrepreneurial Brainwave

Posted: July 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

I had a good idea for a business once… But didn’t have the gumption, the money or the balls (pardon the pun… you’ll see why in a minute) to go through with it. So I’m officially blogging about it, and as a result, I’m officially marking it as my idea.

Now, it’s not a ground breaking unique idea, but it’s an idea that my simple brain had once upon a time. About 10-12 years ago in fact.

In Warrington, just near J8 of the M62, there used to be some huge aeroplane hangars.

Well, it was my notion to turn one of these hangars into a huge, indoor crazy golf course.

crazy golf

Now, crazy golf courses that I’m familiar with are poorly maintained and have not a lot of uniqueness about them.

So, I wanted to make four 18-hole courses around a theme, under one roof. The theme I came up with was ‘The four seasons’.

I had this vision of making a spring, a summer, an autumn (fall for my American followers) and a winter themed course.

72 holes in total of colour, challenge and beauty.

The location of this hangar was ideal – Just off the motorway and close to lots of large towns and cities.

The idea for this came when I watched a 1987 film called ‘Overboard’ with Goldie Hawn and Kirk Russell. In this film, where Kirk Russell played a carpenter, he and a friend designed and built a splendid looking crazy golf course based on the ‘Wonders of the World.’

I’ve always enjoyed crazy golf, and when I have found a great looking course, which has been well maintained, I have always valued it.

So… There’s my idea. If anyone reading this wants to go into business with me and get this idea off the ground, lets PUTT (OMG I’m going to hell for my rubbish humour) it into FULL SWING (Jeez, not even hell would have me!!).

It’ll be a fun venture.

 

guilt

I was going to tackle this post in a humorous fashion, and I wrote half a page before I realised that I may have been insulting some readers. So, I have toned it down big style and tackled it with the respect it deserves.

 

Guilt – Another of those ‘emotions’ which not one of you can deny feeling.

But what is it?

We get ourselves into a situation, we do something ‘wrong’, and we feel bad. Something we carry around and which weighs us down – metaphorically speaking.

Well, I’ve been thinking about this as over the past day or two, guilt has been peering its ugly head over the fence at me and challenging me.

I’ve been asked to admit my guilt over something, but unfortunately there were crossed wires at one point. The other person involved and I were thinking about different things. That was a perilous issue in itself. But, hopefully resolved.

Is it linked to remorse…?

Yeah, surely. Guilt = ‘I’m sorry’.

To the other person involved in this… If you read this post… I’m sorry. Sorry for the confusion and sorry for the situation we are in. Although, I’m not running away from it. We’ll get through it together. (Apologies for the cryptic feel to this paragraph for those outside the loop).

How does guilt go away? Is it after the admission of sorry?

No. What we do either isn’t that bad or time passes to allow the guilt to subside.

Guilt functions like social glue, encouraging you to repair your transgressions.

Where do all these feelings we have live? I don’t think I have room for any more emotion in me. My heart is full of what I feel is positive emotion, so where does all this negativity live?

It’s quite alarming to me how quickly guilt can formulate, over the smallest of things, let alone those huge, kick in the teeth scenarios…

Is there a healthy guilt?

I guess so… If I’m guilty of hurting someone because I’ve done or said something inappropriate, then if I’m realising that and trying to make amends, that’s healthy for the relationship. Right???

I do feel guilty over one or two things.

Things you feel guilt over are sometimes embarrassing.

Sometimes we don’t reveal our guilt and let it eat us up inside, or some people can just live through it and cast the demon away in the echelons of time. People handle guilt in different ways.

Before you leave this post, I want you to consider times when you’ve been guilty of something. How did you tackle it, or indeed, did you tackle it? Is it still eating you up?

But, and this comes from my more sinister side… Have you ever guilt tripped someone…? This links to a previous post of mine on manipulation. Hmmmm – got you thinking now haven’t I?

 

 

 

 

Thought of the day – My boy, Ben.

I decided my son and I need to spend some quality time together. Our relationship has been a bit strained recently as he is only a few weeks off turning 13, so as you can imagine, he thinks he’s all high and mighty, and he’s getting a little bit big for his boots.

I haven’t been very compassionate to his changing moods.

So, we had a chat in the car.

The chat was a start.

He blamed me for being moody with him, and I blamed him for being a grunting, argumentative, sarcastic, lazy, disorganised zombie.

I hope he realised that what I was seeing in him made me moody and, granted, very impatient…!

I have been impatient with him… but he’s dangled more than his toe over that line, I can tell you!

So, we spent a good 5 hours today together, and it was nice. He was charming and funny and a bloomin’ good lad. Made me realise that he’s not a bad lad after all. Well, of course I’ve always known that deep down, but like I’ve already said, he has pushed his luck of late.

Now, I don’t expect perfect behaviour all the time, just a bit of RESPECT. And I hope that he takes that on board and gives to me what he expects me to give to him.

He’s my pride and joy.

Simples!!

Lesson learnt – I can be a better Dad in terms of understanding puberty, and he can be a little more compliant…

Watch this space!