Archive for the ‘Thought of the day…’ Category

Well… What is your preference?

I think I like to be nice more than naughty… Some reading this may disagree and claim that I’m a complete ass! Well, I guess I can be at times; like when I’ve woken up on the proverbial wrong side, or when I am not in control of situations and they go a little or a lot awry, but being nice is something I like to do.

Nice and naughty can mean a plethora of things, but I essentially mean good or bad.

I think it comes from my desire to hold the hero status and (as per a previous blog) my fear of disappointing people.

I hate when people think badly of me… It gives me a sickly feeling, but sometimes I’ve deserved to be labelled as bad or nasty or naughty. It cant be helped sometimes. There are times when you are going to upset people – that’s life!

As a total pluck from the air guess, which has no provable accuracy whatsoever, I reckon I’m sporting good percentages of 80%-20% of being nice against naughty. I think that’s not a bad proportion. Essentially, that means to me that in every 10 situations where a decision to be nice to someone or not, 8 times I do the right thing. That means 2 out of 10 times I am not nice. Is that really a lot? Nah, I think that makes me a good guy really.

If anyone who knows me reads this – I wonder if anyone would agree with that or would they email me and say I was a nasty barsteward to them more than 20 % of the time… Jeepers, I hope not.

On the other hand, would there be people out there who would say ‘80% – more than that Ste.’ Hmmmmmmm – a possibility?

You know what drives me nuts? The bad boys who are like chocolate magnets to girls. I’ve never understood why women are attracted to these types of fellas… but c’est la vie. God luck to one and all on that front. It takes all sorts I guess.

Nice or naughty… Nice or naughty. Could you give yourself an accurate guess, probability wise, about how far down the spectrum you fall.  Does that halo shine right now, or do those horns begin their protrusion.

Be nice to the people who love you.

Be naughty to those who disrespect because they aren’t worth your niceties.

Jeepers… Was I bored at the weekend or what?
My weekend in Egypt is Friday and Saturday… I didn’t go out, except to the supermarket. Twice..
Well.. It drove me a bit mental if I’m honest…
You see, I don’t even have English TV to fall back on although I do have a few movies and a PS3 to keep me entertained – thank gawd!
I ended up dancing round my apartment and even filmed the wonderment on my iPhone… Also, I had my very own karaoke jam too.. I even recorded that… Well, both provided me with something to watch.
Britain’s got talent – well it has now I’ve pissed off to Egypt!!
God, Egypt is boring sometimes.. Yet I roll on 😊

guilt

I was going to tackle this post in a humorous fashion, and I wrote half a page before I realised that I may have been insulting some readers. So, I have toned it down big style and tackled it with the respect it deserves.

 

Guilt – Another of those ‘emotions’ which not one of you can deny feeling.

But what is it?

We get ourselves into a situation, we do something ‘wrong’, and we feel bad. Something we carry around and which weighs us down – metaphorically speaking.

Well, I’ve been thinking about this as over the past day or two, guilt has been peering its ugly head over the fence at me and challenging me.

I’ve been asked to admit my guilt over something, but unfortunately there were crossed wires at one point. The other person involved and I were thinking about different things. That was a perilous issue in itself. But, hopefully resolved.

Is it linked to remorse…?

Yeah, surely. Guilt = ‘I’m sorry’.

To the other person involved in this… If you read this post… I’m sorry. Sorry for the confusion and sorry for the situation we are in. Although, I’m not running away from it. We’ll get through it together. (Apologies for the cryptic feel to this paragraph for those outside the loop).

How does guilt go away? Is it after the admission of sorry?

No. What we do either isn’t that bad or time passes to allow the guilt to subside.

Guilt functions like social glue, encouraging you to repair your transgressions.

Where do all these feelings we have live? I don’t think I have room for any more emotion in me. My heart is full of what I feel is positive emotion, so where does all this negativity live?

It’s quite alarming to me how quickly guilt can formulate, over the smallest of things, let alone those huge, kick in the teeth scenarios…

Is there a healthy guilt?

I guess so… If I’m guilty of hurting someone because I’ve done or said something inappropriate, then if I’m realising that and trying to make amends, that’s healthy for the relationship. Right???

I do feel guilty over one or two things.

Things you feel guilt over are sometimes embarrassing.

Sometimes we don’t reveal our guilt and let it eat us up inside, or some people can just live through it and cast the demon away in the echelons of time. People handle guilt in different ways.

Before you leave this post, I want you to consider times when you’ve been guilty of something. How did you tackle it, or indeed, did you tackle it? Is it still eating you up?

But, and this comes from my more sinister side… Have you ever guilt tripped someone…? This links to a previous post of mine on manipulation. Hmmmm – got you thinking now haven’t I?

 

 

 

 

Thought of the day – My boy, Ben.

I decided my son and I need to spend some quality time together. Our relationship has been a bit strained recently as he is only a few weeks off turning 13, so as you can imagine, he thinks he’s all high and mighty, and he’s getting a little bit big for his boots.

I haven’t been very compassionate to his changing moods.

So, we had a chat in the car.

The chat was a start.

He blamed me for being moody with him, and I blamed him for being a grunting, argumentative, sarcastic, lazy, disorganised zombie.

I hope he realised that what I was seeing in him made me moody and, granted, very impatient…!

I have been impatient with him… but he’s dangled more than his toe over that line, I can tell you!

So, we spent a good 5 hours today together, and it was nice. He was charming and funny and a bloomin’ good lad. Made me realise that he’s not a bad lad after all. Well, of course I’ve always known that deep down, but like I’ve already said, he has pushed his luck of late.

Now, I don’t expect perfect behaviour all the time, just a bit of RESPECT. And I hope that he takes that on board and gives to me what he expects me to give to him.

He’s my pride and joy.

Simples!!

Lesson learnt – I can be a better Dad in terms of understanding puberty, and he can be a little more compliant…

Watch this space!

Ticked off
Angry
Peeved
Annoyed
And a few curse words too…
We’re all bothered by those little somethings.
We can even be ticked off for someone else’s predicament.
Why??
Because…
Because… We are the human race…the masters of out own destiny…the supreme beings??
And we are intolerant of others.
And we hate it when others don’t treat us fairly.
I like it when people stick up for me…
I’d like to think I’d stick up for my friends and loved ones if they were treated unfairly. If they were ticked off, would I listen and be objective? Yeah, I think so.
It’s another one of those emotions which is predominantly evil (I’m thinking the deadly sins).
I guess it falls under wrath… No, it IS wrath..
It then comes down to channeling it…
I get vexed by ridiculous things… Often very small things… And I let it show! And why not?
Do men get more ticked off than women or vice versa? Are those notorious
red heads more fiery than others? That’s what ‘they’ say isn’t it??
Who knows… What about those stroppy prepubescent boys… I’m looking at one right now.. I mean jeez, talk about a face like thunder!!
Well.. There we go… The thought of the day – being ticked off – have u encountered that emotion today?

My thought of the day – Manipulation

 

It’s a good word – a certain WOW word if I discovered it in school with children.

A long word – 12 letters.

Multi-syllabic word – 5 syllables.

What comes to your mind when you hear it? – Underhand tactics? Deception? Exploitation? – It certainly isn’t a good word is it? It definitely has an ugly connotation to it.

Unless….

Unless, you are the manipulator!

I’ve just published a book, which features a main character who thrives off manipulation – I mean dishing it out, not receiving it. And, it was bloody good to write about such a character.

Am I a closet manipulator myself? I bet some people may respond with the affirmative there.

Am I one who has been victim of manipulation?

Are receivers of manipulation victims? Is that the right word?

Definitely a question for psychology.

Does manipulation help when it’s against someone you know or against a stranger? I’d have thought the former because you need to know their vulnerabilities.

As I write this, I am considering my manipulative acts… Hmmmmm… You have to have a certain amount of ruthlessness about you to be manipulative.

The word came up today in a non-threatening situation. In fact, in a very pleasant situation. And when it was brought up, I immediately understood that I was the victim… But, I wasn’t cross, or angry, or surprised by it because I kind of knew I was being manipulated all along… But, I was also happy to have been the victim of a manipulator.

Is that perverse in some way?

Maybe… But I also know that the person manipulating me, has also been manipulated BY me at the same and different times.

So, is manipulation something we all do at times? Is it harmless if it doesn’t go too far? Positive reinforcement is manipulation, and I know I’m guilty of that.

It’s all about power and control and those of you in relationships out there, I’m sure, can identify with having a strong need (from time to time maybe) to attain feelings of power and superiority in your relationship.

That doesn’t make you or me BAD! Just… Human.

A day can be a rollercoaster ride of emotion…

Something happens which makes you ashamed/embarrassed/leaves you feeling rotten and blue.

This event can also have a deep impact on someone else.

Then, something else can happen which makes that first event seem less shameful/embarrassing and makes the blueness of the day seem less so.

All because of something out of your control.

I’m thankful of someone pointing me in the right direction today and making me realise that something I thought I did wrong wasn’t so much of a problem because it was influenced by something I couldn’t control.

I’m also thankful that the ‘someone else’ was very understanding although a little vexed (understandably so) to start with.

I’m feeling much relief that my rollercoaster ride of emotion has played out in a way that eases my stress and angst.

For those who played a part in my life today, thank you so much.